Two children are trying out for a team that they’ve wanted to be on for as long as they can remember. Both are on the fence in terms of making it or being cut. They play the same position and are at the same skill level. The coach is having a difficult time deciding which should stay and which should go. He has his whole team picked out; now he just has to decide which of these two is going to make the team. He has been watching both of these kids intently. He’s noticed that Player One knocked a kid down and didn’t help him back up, cursed when the call didn’t go his way, and neglected to high-five any of the other players when he left the field. Player Two, on the other hand, was very enthusiastic on the sidelines, cheering for kids he didn’t even know. When a call didn’t go his way he brushed it off and focused on the next play, and after the drill was over he congratulated all the other players for a job well done. Guess which player the coach chose for his team? Player Two… big surprise. But why were Player Two’s actions so much better?

The coach in our scenario chose Player Two because he was a good sport. Someone in this young athlete’s life taught him the importance of good sportsmanship. But, as can be seen in Player One, not all children are so lucky as to have been taught what good sportsmanship means. Good sportsmanship or poor sportsmanship is not something that a child is born with., like most things, sportsmanship is learned through watching adults (parents and coaches) and other role models. The way that parents and coaches act is going to directly affect how their players act in the future. That means it’s important for everyone to learn more about good sportsmanship and how to help the children in our lives develop it.

I went searching for a solid definition of good sportsmanship. The best one I could find said it is “conduct and attitude considered as befitting participants in sports, especially fair play, courtesy, striving spirit, and grace in losing.” Now I understand what all of that means, but I am pretty darn positive that a 10-year-old will not understand that definition.

So how do we teach good sportsmanship if we don’t use the exact definition? Well, to simplify it, good sportsmanship is when teammates, opponents, and officials treat each other with respect. One good way to understand this principle is by referring back to the Golden Rule: “Treat others the way you would like to be treated.” This is a simple concept, and one that kids can understand and embrace as they learn the basics of  good sportsmanship.

Adults who emphasize good sportsmanship help young athletes take pride in their accomplishments and improving their skills. When children acknowledge and are happy about their improvements, they see themselves as winners. Skyhawks Sports wants all children to get the chance to feel proud of their accomplishments. At our sports camps, we encourage children to focus on their improvements and the improvements of others. That way, everyone gains confidence. When we fail to teach our children good sportsmanship, we’re not doing them any favors. Everyone would rather play with someone who behaves graciously. We believe that every child deserves a chance to be a good sport, to be taught what good sportsmanship means – and to reap the self-respect that comes with behaving courteously.

‘Maybe my kid will be the best… maybe he/she could get a college scholarship or maybe even go pro.’ This thought lingers in the back of many parents and coaches. It is this kind of thinking that leads to the extreme competition in youth sports that we see happening today. If it were up to children they would be playing sports to have fun, but it is this idea of ‘fun’ that gets lost in over-emphasizing winning and competition.

Sports should be a fun and exciting experience for children, one that teaches them about problem solving and communication skills as well as sharing emotions and working together to achieve a common goal. In competitive environments children feel the pressure to win, which has a tendency to lead to poor sportsmanship and some of the most important learning experiences get pushed to the side. In comparison playful environments teach children to promote each others success and to encourage one another.

Children try so hard to be the best to make their parents and coaches happy that they sometimes forget why they started playing in the first place. Dropouts start happening when children can’t remember the joy that they once felt from playing. In a study done by the Journal of Park and Recreation Administration they found that ‘Unpleasant experiences in sports can lead to children dropping out and limiting their physical activity, there by increasing their chances of obesity. In contrast sport experiences that promote sportsmanship and fun help encourage children to adopt physical activity as part of their lifestyle.’ 

The authors of the book Putting Youth Back into Sports gives these helpful tips on ways to promote sportsmanship and fun in youth sports.

·        Place less emphasis on the score. Focus on the mastery of skills instead of the outcome of the game. Youth will feel more successful whether or not they are "officially" the winner of the game.

·        Be sensitive to each member's skills, personalities, and temperaments. Offer activities that promote team efforts and encourage everyone to play a role in helping the team as a whole.

·        Rotate partners in skill building exercises.

·        Change games to be developmentally appropriate for the age group of the team.

·        Give encouragement and positive feedback to every member of the team.

·        Emphasize exploration and experimentation with each of the skills needed for that sport.

·        Help youth to see mistakes as learning tools.

·        Sometimes just "play" for the fun of it, especially at younger ages.

·        Encourage youth to set personal goals to challenge themselves and master skills.

These tips help bring a balance to competition and cooperation. Do you have more ideas on how to bring a balance between the two? Let us know!

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